Judging Others

We live in a society that is based on judging others.  Often times, as Muslims, we tend to do the same thing in that we judge other people.  We think we know others’ intentions or we know where their heart stands.  We may look for a reason to pass judgment on a specific brother or sister or we may look for an excuse to consider them ‘off the manhaj’ as it is so often known as. 

However, in reality, ask yourself, “Who are we to judge others?”  As Muslims, we want and wish for the best for our brothers and sisters in faith.  They are a part of our family and thus we want nothing but the best for them.  What happened to making excuses and excuses for our brothers and sisters?  Who are we judge others?  No doubt, as Muslims, it is our duty to advise others and it is our duty to command the good and forbid the evil.  What would happen if we didn’t pass judgment on them, rather we just advised them instead?  Would something befall upon us?  Allah is the Judge and He will judge the people for indeed we do not know what is in the hearts of others, rather Allah knows what is in the breasts of mankind.

Imam Malik stated, “If I was given 99 reasons to declare a person deviant and one upholding their orthodoxy, I’d go with the latter!”  Imam al-Ghazali stated, “The hypocrite looks for faults, the believer looks for excuses.”  Al-Hafidh al-Dhahabi wrote, “I heard our Sheikh, Ibn Taymiyyah, d. 728 a.h, say towards the end of his life, ‘I will never declare anyone from the people of the Qiblah (Muslim direction of prayer) as an infidel.’”

Ask yourself, do you REALLY want the best for your brother or sister if you’re looking for an excuse to throw them outside the fold of Ahlus-Sunnah or worse yet, even Islam?  Oh Muslim, make excuses for one another.  Make dua for one another.  Love one another.  The Messenger (SAW) of God told us that we would not attain faith until we love one another.  He (SAW) also told us that one is not a believer until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.  Therefore, O Muslim, attain faith, become a believer (Mumin)!  May Allah (SWT) allow us all to be believers.  Ameen.

Working Through Obstacles

My last post, Companionship, discussed the importance of who are our friends and how we are very much similar to those people whom we love and spend time with.  After all, Rasoolullah (SAW) said “Shall I tell you who is the best of you?”  “Yes,” replied the Sahaba.  He (SAW) said, “Those who remind you of Allah when you see them.”  He (SAW) went on to say, “Shall I tell you who is the worst of you?”  “Yes,” they replied.  He said, “Those who go about slandering, causing mischief between friends in order to separate them, and desiring to lead the innocent into wrong action” (Bukhari).  However, does this mean we isolate and polarize ourselves from society?  No, in general, we should strive and struggle to benefit ourselves and others around us.  Consider the benefical words of Ibn al-Qayyim:

Know that the greatest of losses for YOU is to be pre-occupied with ONE who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allah – the Mighty, the Majestic – and being cut-off from Him.  Wasting your time with such a person.  Weakening of your energy, and the dispersing [disbanding, separating] of your resolve [steadfastness, determination].  When you are tested with this – and you must be tested with this – deal with this person according to how Allah would wish, and be patient with him as much as possible.  Get closer to Allah and His Pleasure by way of this person.  Make your getting together with him something to benefit from, NOT  something to incur a loss from.

Be with him as if you are a man who is on a road who was stopped by another man, who then asks you to take him on your journey.  Make sure that you are the one who gives him a ride, and that he is not the one giving you the ride.  If he refuses, and there is nothing to gain from travelling with him, DO NOT stop for him.  Bid him farewell, and do not even turn back to look at him, as he is a highway robber, regardless of who he really is.  Save your heart, be wary [cautious, guarded] of how you spend your days and nights.

DO NOT let the Sun set [death approach] before you arrive at your DESTINATION.

Excerpts taken from Imam Ibn al-Qayyim’s book Al-Waabil as-Sayyib

The Importance of Good Manners and Giving Advice

Many of us, though we may have sincere and righteous intentions, have recently misplaced our ahklaq (i.e. we have lost our manners).  This message is not directed towards one specific incident, but rather I’ve noticed a culmination of different events where many of our brothers (and sisters!), inlcuding myself perhaps have forgotten the proper way to advise our fellow muslims (an act known as irshad or islah).  When we advise our brothers and sisters if they are doing something incorrectly, we must remember to do it for the sake of Allah (SWT) with the best of intentions.  The believer looks for excuses, not blame for his brother.  We want the best for our brothers and sisters and hence we advise them because we love them, not because we think we are better than them.  For if think we are better than them, then this is arrogance and pride and arrogance and pride was the sin that got the rejected and accursed devil kicked out of paradise and doomed for eternity.  We should not think we are better than others.  We need to humble ourselves and be thankful that we are in a position to advise others.  We shouldn’t advise people harshly, rather we need to be gentle, yet firm.  The Messenger of Allah was the best of examples sent to mankind and he would be gentle with others.  We have heard the hadith of the man who urinated in the masjid and the Prophet (SAW) handled the situation in the most eloquent of ways.  Nowadays, if a brother is praying without a kufi (head-covering) or his pants below his ankles in the masjid, we may berate him, but is this really the best way, will he continue coming to this masjid?  There may be a time for harshness, but many of us are not in the situation to handle it as we are the laymen.

With that being said, we need give advice in private.  None of us likes being called out in public and hence we should treat others the way we would want to be treated.  With that being said, when we receive advice, regardless of who it is from, we need to be thankful and considerate of it.  It takes courage to give advice and when one receives it, we should pray for that brother or sister that advised us becaus they love us, regardless of whether they are correct or not.

We need to be on our best behaviour at all times for our akhlaq may be what draws people to our beautiful and truthful religion and way of life.  Nowadays, the brothers with the big beards or the sisters with niqaab are the ones that seem to be the most intimidating, but this is incorrect.  We should set good examples.  Who said to be religious means to be stern and harsh?  Often times, harshness by our brothers and sisters may scare off those people that are young and new to the religion.  Wasn’t there one point in our lives not long ago where we may not have turned out the way we have if it wasn’t for someone who was gentle and kind to us in their teachings?

The salaf (our pious predecessors) used to study ahklaq (good manners) twice as long as they studied knowledge.  How much time have we personally devoted to purifying our souls and being steadfast in our manners and characteristics.  The Prophet (SAW) said, “I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners” (Abu Dawud) so why not aim for the highest part of paradise.  We need to be gentle, honest, and sincere in our character and manners.

I just felt the need to write this short piece up as a reminder to myself first and foremost and then to all of you for we know the reminder benefits the believer.  May Allah (SWT) allow us all to have the best of manners, to attain the highest part of Jannah, and to love one another for the sake of Allah (SWT).  Ameen.

Testing our Faith

Subhan’Allah, as American Muslims, we tend to test our iman/faith:

-by thinking we will give dawah to all the pretty girls on campus before knowing it we get emotionally attached to them when we are told to not even come close to zina

-by studying with someone of the opposite gender late into the night where Shaytan is the third amongst us

-by agreeing to shake hands with the opposite gender when we are severely warned against touching people of the opposite gender

-by subscribing to cable TV thinking we will only watch the halal shows, but we leave the door open to the possibilities

-by accepting riba from banks thinking we’ll use it for tax money when Allah and His Messenger have declared war against those who partake in riba

-by sitting at a table where alcohol is served when we are specifically prohibited from such an action

-by eating the food of those who own convenient stores selling alcohol when ten different types of people are cursed when it comes to alcohol

-by not donating any money as we fear poverty

-by having our hearts attached to the dunya instead of the ahkira when indeed the ahkira is better than the dunya

-by being awed by the non-Muslims in their dunya accomplishments when we should be pitying them instead

-by being materialistic when true wealth is being content in one’s heart

-by listening to music when it is clearly prohibited by all four madhabs

-by staying quiet when part of our deen is commanding the good and forbidding the evil

-by thinking tazkiyah is only for the sufis when in reality it is a true science of study in Islam as alluded to by the likes of Ibn Taymiyyah

-by seriously lacking in akhlaq and adab when some of the salaf studied them twice as long as they studied ilm/knowledge

-by joining up with a movement/cult/tariqa within Islam that separates from the jama when true success lies in following the jama in the Quran and Sunnah

-by asking a laymen for his or her Islamic opinion when we wouldn’t ask a laymen for medical advice

-by giving fatwa when we are clearly not a shaykh or shaykha

-by fatwa shopping

-by smoking sheesha when it’s clearly harmful to one’s health like cigarettes

-by not being thankful for all the immense blessings that have been bestowed upon us until it’s too late

-by complaining to others when we should only complain to Allah

-by procrastinating when we don’t know if we will be alive tomorrow

-by befriending the kuffar when it’s prohibited

-by thinking we are better than other people when they very well may be forgiven for their shortcomings and we may not be forgiven for ours

-by having pride not realizing it was the thing that destroyed the devil

Indeed, we test our faith and iman.  However, would be test our lives the same way?  Would we walk across the interstate/highway blindfolded?  Absolutely NOT!  Then, why do we test our iman when it is something much more valuable than our lives?

Advice to the Aspiring Muslim with Homosexual Urges

In today’s world, homosexuality is something very common and accepted.  Considering the environment we live in, it is quite possible that some aspiring Muslims may also have homosexual urges even though they may not want to.  However, in Islam, acting upon these urges is strictly prohibited.  For a parallel example, as a man, I may want to have relations with numerous different women, but as we know, even though I may have that urge or desire the act does not become permissible (as we are only permitted to have relations with those that are halal to us (i.e our spouse)).  Similiar, a person who has homosexual desires must also refrain from their urges and impulses and insh’Allah they will be rewarded for their patience and virtue.  For a more complete look into this subject, please check out Shaykh Yasir Qadhi’s post on MuslimMatters.

got brotherhood?

Amongst one of my fondest memories in Egypt was one time when I was at a juice-stand on a street corner and I was drinking some juice (yes, I gave into this fad) with another brother from the USA.  Sitting right beside us were these two other brothers from Belgium.  Now one thing about being a foreigner in the Middle East is that you immediately recognize the other foreigners while you are there.  Anyways, the brothers from Belgium didn’t speak English (what language do they speak in Belgium anyways?) and they, like us, were relatively new to the Arabic language. We conversed for several minutes in broken Arabic before it was finally time to depart.  As we were leaving, one of the Belgium brothers said to us, “Convey our salaams to the Ahlus-Sunnah (People of the Sunnah) in America as the Ahlus-Sunnah in Europe give theirs salaams to the Ahlus-Sunnah in America.”

Subhan’Allah, the brother’s statement really got me thinking.  I started to think about the concept of brotherhood that exists in Islam and how fortunate we are to have such a unique blessing.  Indeed, this Muslim from Belgium with whom I share probably nothing in common with (not culture, language, race, ethnicity, etc) except Islam is my brother in faith.  Think about that for a moment.  He’s not my cousin or uncle or anything else, but my brother in Islam.  And this brother was able to group together millions of Muslims in Europe and tie them so closely with the millions of Muslims in the United States.  Instant love exists within our hearts for our fellow Muslim brothers and this phenomenal love cannot be explained, but only truly experienced.

Indeed, the Quran states, “the Believers are but a single Brotherhood” (translation of the meaning of the Holy Quran, 49:10).  The Messenger of God (SAW) stated, “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his brother what he likes for himself” (Bukhari).

Therefore, O Muslim, meet new brothers, spread the salaams, smile in the face of your brother and prefer your brother over yourself for indeed, we will see the fruits of such beauty in this life and the Hereafter, insh’Allah.

Related readings: Rights of Brotherhood in Islam and Islamic Brotherhood

Ibn Qayyim on How We Spend Our Day

Ibn al-Qayyim [rahimahullah] said,

When a person spends his entire day with no other concern but Allaah alone, 

• Allaah [subhaa nahu wa ta’ala] will take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him. 
• He will empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that it will speak only in remembrance of Him [dhikr], and cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him.

But when a person spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, 

• Allaah will make him bear its distress, anxiety and pain. 
• He will leave him to sort himself out, and cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allaah towards the love of some created being.  
• He will cause his tongue to speak only in remembering people instead of remembering Allaah.
• He will cause him to use his talents and energy in obeying and serving the people.
• This person will strive hard, laboring like some work-animal, to serve something other than Allaah.

Everyone who turns away from being a true slave of Allaah by obeying and loving Him, will be burdened with servitude to some created being. Allaah says in the Qur’an [interpretation of the meaning]:

And whosoever turns away [blinds himself] from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent, We appoint for him a shaytaan to be his Qareen [intimate companion]. (Sura al-Zukhruf, Ayah 36).

It was narrated that Anas [radi Allaahu anhu] said that the Prophet [sallal laahu alaihi wa sallam] said: 

Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place.  But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.  (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 2389 and classed as Saheeh by Shaykh Muhammad Naasiruddin al-Albaani [rahimahullah])

(Source: al-Fawaa’ id, page 159)

My Defining Moment in Egypt

In my last two weeks of living in Egypt, there were several moments that helped me define how I need to view life.  Most of these moments would be viewed as commonplace, but the reflection that was built off of them helped define me.  I will only talk about one of those moments in this post.

There aren’t many people in the world where one feels such affection towards them where it completely changes a person’s perspective on how they live their lives.  Obviously, love for one’s spouse is true and real, but the affection and love I’m talking about here is different than that of one’s spouse.  It is the love of another human being for the sake of Allah.  It reminds us of the famous hadith of the seven types of people who will be shaded on the Day of Resurrection with one type being two people who love each other for Allah’s sake and the meet and depart because of it.  Personally, I get along with people incredibly well, alhamdulillah, and there are a number of brothers out there I feel I can relate to on a personal level and I love them for the sake of Allah.  When I mention love for Allah’s Sake, I mean this innate feeling of affection that is deep within one’s heart and for love is not something we can control.

Today, I wanted to talk about love for a scholar on a personal level.  I met the Imam of a masjid close to where we were living in Madinat Nasr and I asked him if I could study some Quran with him.  His name was Sheikh Adel and he was extremely personable and friendly.  I loved every moment that I spent with this brother.  Every question I asked him something, he would either answer it directly with evidences he had memorized or he would tell him he would look it up and get back to me (and sure enough he would).  I felt awe in my time with Sheikh Adel and I felt honor that this brother would give his time to teach me.  Sheikh Adel had several other students he would teach as well as the responsibilities of the masjid and his job.  Additionally, he would sit with his teachers and continue his ever-lasting quest for knowledge.

I felt like a little child when I was with Sheikh Adel, especially in terms of my knowledge as compared to him, I was ashamed of where I stood in terms of Islamic knowledge.  His knowledge of Tajweed was amazing, even in the different recitations of the Holy Quran.  He was an honest, humble, and sincere man.

Many times for lessons abroad, students pay their teachers to compensate them for their time.  Especially on learning that one is from America, many teachers see dollar signs in their eyes.  My teacher was different.  He refused to take anything from me in exchange for his time.  In fact, he gave me a gift while I was studying with him!  Subhan’Allah, how some people are truly attached to the Hereafter!

However, the moment that truly struck a chord in me was the last time I met him as I prepared to return to the United States.  I was walking with Shaykh Adel in Madinat Nasr and I asked him, “How old are you, bro?”  He responded, “23.”

I knew Shaykh Adel was young, but I assumed he was in his late twenties, definitely older than me.  However, it turns out, I was several months older than Shaykh Adel.  This conversation got me thinking about the blessings we have in life.  Here in America, we have amazing opportunities in terms of dawah and calling people to Islam.  However, the main thing I realized was what we, the new Muslim generation, need to emphasize with our children.  We, along with everyone else who truly wants it, have the potential blessing of having our children raised with the Quran.  There were people that I came across on a daily basis in Egypt who were raised around the Quran.  They memorized it at an early age in their respective villages.  They knew the Quran in the different qiraat.  Their lives were based on the Quran.  Take these children and compare him to some of children we see being raised in America that don’t even know how to pray.  Now, I’m not saying raising your child in a village in Africa is the way to go.  I’m simply saying that regardless of how we decide to live, we HAVE to give our children a beautiful relationship with the Quran while they are still young.  They can be scholars of Tajweed and still become engineers (like Shaykh Adel).  They can love the Quran and still love science and medicine.  However, our priorities need to lay with the Quran first and foremost.  Just because we are living in America does not mean we should deprive our children of knowing and following what is truly important.  The Quran is where the true blessings lie whether you are in America or Egypt.

(Note: This post is a reflection from my time in Egypt.  For an informational post on my experience in Egypt, please see: https://mustaqeem.wordpress.com/2008/06/21/egypt)

Hug Your Mother

Watch this six minute clip.  If you do not get teary, it’s time to re-examine your heart.  If your heart isn’t touched, make sure it hasn’t hardened:

Related: https://mustaqeem.wordpress.com/2007/04/25/a-mothers-love/

To Our Dear Sisters

Paradise is for believing men and women

We often hear speakers in Friday prayer or in admonitions talking about Paradise and all of us find our hearts, minds and thoughts tuned on to that ‘frequency’. However, majority of the speakers talk about Paradise as if it were a house for men only. Reality is not like that. Paradise is for the believing men and women. The only price for it is sound belief in Allah, love of Allah and His Messenger (Peace be upon him), and obedience to Allah and His Messenger (Peace be upon him).

In what follows are the glad tidings given by the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him), to some of the women among his companions.

Narrated ‘Ayshah (May Allah be pleased with her): I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet as much as I did of Khadijah (although) she died before he married me, for I often heard him mentioning her, and Allah had told him to give her the good tidings that she would have a palace of Qasab (i.e. pipes of precious stones and pearls in Paradise), and whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would send her women-friends a good share of it. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

Anas reports that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him), said: ‘The best women of mankind are four: Mariam daughter of `Imran, Assiya wife of Pharaoh, Khadijah daughter of Khuwailid, and Fatima the daughter of the Messenger of Allah.’ [Bukhari and Muslim]

Narrated Abu Hurayrah: Jibril (Gabriel) came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Allah’s Apostle! This is Khadijah coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab (palace in Paradise) wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue (trouble).’ [Bukhari]

Narrated ‘Ata bin Abi Rabah: Ibn ‘Abbas said to me, ‘Shall I show you a woman of the people of Paradise?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This black woman came to the Prophet and said, ‘I get attacks of epilepsy and my body becomes uncovered; please invoke Allah for me.’ The Prophet said (to her), ‘If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise; and if you wish, I will invoke Allah to cure you.’ She said, ‘I will remain patient,’ and added, ‘but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.’ So he invoked Allah for her.’ [Bukhari]

The aforementioned hadith clearly state the stature of some of the women given the glad tidings of Jannah (Paradise). What can the women of today do in order to achieve that pinnacle of success, Paradise?

To do so one MUST learn how these women lived, how they behaved, how they spoke, how they dressed, how they walked, etc. In this issue of al-Mu’minah we will try to learn from the black woman mentioned in the last Hadith, insha’Allah. The black woman is not even known by her name, or her exact whereabouts, rather she is known by her deeds, her faith, her modesty, her chastity, and for her being an inmate of Paradise. And, in the end, that is what matters most. When Abdullah Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) said ‘this black woman’, he did not mean to point at her race or to belittle her in any way. Indeed, he but meant to teach the people around him a great principle of Islam which is mentioned in the verse, [in the meaning of] : ‘O people! We have created you from a man and a woman and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may know each other, verily the most honorable among you in the sight of Allah are the most pious.’

The same principle is mentioned in the Hadith: ‘Allah does not look at your pictures (shapes) and bodies but He looks at your hearts (and your deeds).’ [Muslim]

She (the black woman) was physically sick, yet she sought cure in the Du’a of the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him). She knew that the one who cures, ash-Shafi, is Allah, and Allah would answer the Du’a of His Messenger (Peace be upon him). We conclude from that that Du’a heals all diseases be they of the body or of the heart. When commenting on this Hadith, al-Hafidh Ibn Hajar said: ‘It is inferred from this Hadith that the cure of diseases through Du’a and supplication to Allah (wa al-iltija’ ila Allah) is the most successful way of healing, but this cannot be fulfilled unless two conditions are satisfied: pure intention and sincere trust in the effectiveness of the Du’a, and righteousness and reliance on Allah.

The fact that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: ‘If you wish, be patient and you will have (enter) Paradise’ is a proof for the virtue and reward of patience during sickness. In another Hadith, he (Peace be upon him), says: ‘Whenever a hardship affects the Muslim, he will be forgiven for it even when he is picked by a spike.’ [Muslim]

And in another Hadith, also narrated by Muslim, Ummu as-Sa’ib cursed fever, to which the Prophet (Peace be upon him) told her: ‘Do not curse fever, for it takes away the sins like the blaze [fire] takes away the impurities of iron.’ The black women preferred the suffering of this world to getting the eternal reward of Paradise! She suffered from sickness, yet her pain and discomfort did not force her to forego pleasing Allah! And no matter who one is, if one is in the path of Allah, one will encounter difficulties, because Paradise is rounded by hardships. If things are easy and life is rosy, then one must check oneself; are we following the true Islam? Especially in this western environment it may be difficult for a young woman to wear the dress of modesty, the Hijab (even though it is mandatory), not to talk to men and keep away from them (which is also mandatory), except if necessary.

All these may be difficult to achieve for some in the beginning, but when one overcomes herself for the sake of Allah, then all the other obstacles become baseless. So, how to overcome oneself? By knowing Allah by His names and attributes; by loving and obeying Allah and His Messenger (Peace be upon him); and then the help of Allah will come, insha’Allah. She (the black woman) preferred being patient, but could not tolerate that her honor, her modesty and her chastity be damaged or even touched, nor that any part of her body be uncovered, though she had no control over it. Indeed she was a real slave and servant of Allah; she was a faithful, a believer, a Muslimah, a righteous and pious woman, a truthful woman, and she was loyal to Allah and His Messenger (Peace be upon him). Not only having these awe-inspiring qualities, she was also a wise and a great woman, as her memorable words rang …: ‘… but I become uncovered, so please invoke Allah for me that I may not become uncovered.’

If words are to be written in Gold, these words should be written in gold … Remember this simple equation:

Iman + Suffering + Patience = Paradise

It can also be inferred that the righteous Muslim woman inherently loves to be covered, loves modesty and chastity and hates revealing her body and her beauty. The black woman, could sustain being so sick but could not bear to be uncovered in front of people.

The issue, one must understand, is not of black or white or Arab or non-Arab, rich or poor, noble[with lineage] or not, it is rather of a creed so deeply rooted in the hearts of Muslims like blood flows in the arteries and veins of people. They are those who are totally committed to Islam. Fourteen Hundred years of history showed that Muslim women could sustain hunger, poverty, sickness but could never sustain disobeying Allah. The wife would tell her husband when leaving for work: ‘Fear Allah in us, for we can sustain hunger and thirst but we cannot sustain Hell fire [i.e. do not acquire unlawful earning].’

Dear sisters, ask yourself what made Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) be greeted by Allah and by Jibril. Ask yourself what made Khadijah be rewarded a Palace in Jannah as no one can imagine. Reading the biography of Khadijah and others like her in greatness, one would wish to be at their service; to carry their shoes, wash their clothes, to serve them in any possible way and get Du’a from them. It is sad that we just don’t know the great personalities of this Ummah. If only we strive to study the lives of the righteous that preceded us, we would find in them immense guidance for our existence, and if we know them and follow them we could be in the forefront of mankind …

It is said, ‘Iman (faith) is not by hope, it is rather what occurs in the heart and is proved by the deeds [maa waqa`a fil qalbi wa saddaqahul-`amal].’ We leave you to think about this and pray to Allah to make us all among the dwellers of Paradise and to bestow upon us the faith and the patience that lead us to Paradise. And to bless the present Muslim Ummah with many women like the black woman (may Allah be pleased with her), who help us focus on the straight path …

Source: www.islamswomen.com

How to Cure an Impure Heart?

Excerpts taken from Imam Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah’s book Ighaathah al-Luhfaan min Masayid al-Shaytaan.
 
Signs of an impure, diseased, and a dead heart: 

• The person does not feel any hurt or pain when he commits evil deeds and sins.
• The person finds both pleasure in committing acts of disobedience to Allah and a take it easy attitude after performing them.
• The person looks after the less important matters and does not care about the more important ones.
• The person dislikes the Truth and has difficulty accepting or submitting to it.
• The person does not find comfort in being among the righteous people but finds a great deal of peace while among the evil and sinful.
• The person is susceptible to be affected by misconceptions and doubts. He is attracted to discussions, debates and arguments that surround such misconceptions rather than trying to understand the Qur’an, follow the Sunnah and other such beneficial acts. [This aspect can truly be seen nowadays among Muslims, especially over the Internet. Today, a Muslim may spend hours discussing, for example whether or not Hijaab is part of Islam or if Riba [Usury, Interest] is forbidden and so forth. Many times, such discussions begin by quoting non-Muslim authors, hours are wasted and no one learns any aspect of the Deen].
• The person may not be affected by any kind of admonition whatsoever. [Some people, for example, have the capacity of listening to many Khutbahs [Islamic lectures], but still it does not bring any change in them. Or when someone is given repeated advices and warnings from those who are knowledgeable in Deen, it doesn’t affect them. They arrogantly insist upon sticking with the falsehood].

Imam Hasan al-Basree [rahimahullah] once said to a man, “Cure your heart for Allah desires that His slaves should purify their hearts.  You should know that you never truly love Allah until you love obeying Him.” (Jaami’ al-‘Uloom v.1 by Ibn Rajab)
 
The heart cannot become purified until a person knows Allah, loves Him, fears Him, has hope in Him and trusts Him. This is the true realization of the statement Laa ilaaha ill-Allah.  The heart will never be pure until it loves, deifies [worships, exalts], fears, and submits to no one except Allah, eventually ending up of the limbs by following and making the actions pure.

Sufyaan ath-Thawree [rahimahullah] said:

• Improve your secret and private life, and Allah will improve your public and social life. 
• Make matters well between you and Allah, and Allah will make matters well between you and people. 
• Work for the Hereafter, and Allah will be enough for you in your worldly concerns.
• Purchase the Hereafter, and use this worldly life as a method of payment for your purchase, and as a result you will gain profit both in this world and in the hereafter. But do not purchase this world at the cost of the Hereafter, for if you do so you will lose out on both the worlds.

The Islamic Perspective on Sex

Islam respects all human needs like sex and food and directs human beings to the right way where they can properly fulfill their needs and desires.

Islam considers sex as one of the essential human needs that must be properly satisfied. It is a necessity of the human being that requires favorable consideration. In fact, Islam considers it one of the requirements of life that should be properly and lawfully satisfied. Moreover, Islam does not treat it as a distasteful, filthy, or heinous act of man.

Allah states in the Glorious Qur’an Surrah Al-Imran [The Family of Imran] (3:14):�Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: women and sons; heaped-uphoards of gold and silver; horses branded [for blood and excellence]; and [wealth of] cattle and well-tilled land. Such are the possessions of this world’s life; but in nearness to Allah is the best of the goals [to return to]�.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

Three items of this world were made attracted [or likeable] to me: women, perfume [but] the [utmost] pleasure of my eyes [soul] is in prayer�.

In fact, Islam prohibits deprivation of the sexual behavior. This is, simply, because Islam is the natural religion commensurate to pure human innate. Islam does not, at any time, interfere with the requirements of the human’s needs or desires. It rather attempts to answer and fulfill all human needs and requirements, yet by setting certain lawful limits and restrictions to ensure satisfying these needs in a right and lawful manner. Islam endeavors to keep the sex within the framework of human needs and elevates it above the savage and uncivilized way.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

“People enter Jannah, Paradise mostly based on Taqwa of Allah (respect and fear of Allah) full respect and obedience of the Commands of Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)], and based on their good conduct. [While] most people enter the Hellfire because of the [ill use] of the mouth and private parts�.

Islam sets the mode for the better advancement of man, if he follows the Islamic rules and God’s Commands on the subject. Islam looks at the proper (legal) use of the sex as an act of worship, (Ibadah). A Muslim would be rewarded when he practices this act, as he is rewarded when he does any other acts of worship.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

[A Muslim] would have an intercourse with his spouse and would be rewarded for it. The Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) asked: Oh Messenger of Allah! A person would be rewarded while satisfying his sexual need? Prophet Mohammad replied: Yes. Isn’t it that he would be punished had he practiced sex illegally (not with his spouse)? The same applies if a Muslim practiced a lawful intercourse with his spouse. As such, he would be rewarded�.

In Islam, the only way allowed for satisfying the sexual desire is a lawful “marriage”. In fact, Islam urges Muslims to seek marriage.

Islam regards marriage as a natural necessity in order to achieve tranquility and peace of mind for the Muslim. To the society, Islam regards marriage as a place to foster love, affection, closeness. Further, Islam regards marriage as a requirement to maintain the human race. Also Islam regards marriage as a mean for better moral values, preservation of honor and dignity, and preservation of the moral values of the human society. Thus, neglecting marriage or rejecting it is regarded as a denial of all the normal human behaviors and pure code of social ethics”.

Hence, marriage in Islam is a way to reach tranquility and peace of mind.

Allah states in the Qur’an Surrah Al-Room (30:21):

�And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect�.

In fact marriage is essential to protect both spouses against indulgence in unlawful sexual practices that eventually leads to corruption and immoral acts [such as prostitution, fornication and adultery] in the Muslim society.

Prophet Mohammad has stressed that when he said:

There is no greater sin after the sin of associating partners with Allah than a man placing his semen in a womb [private part of a woman] that is unlawful for him to place(having sex with a woman that is not his wife)�.

source:  www.therevival.co.uk via www.islamonline.com

The Great Virtue of Lowering the Gaze

By Imaam ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah rahimahullah

Taken from ‘al-Muntaqaa min Ighaathatul Lufhaan fee Masaayid ash-Shaytaan’ [pp.’s 102-105] of ibn al-Qayyim, summarised by Alee Hasan

---

Allaah, the Exalted said,

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allaah is well acquainted with all that they do.” [an-Nur (24):30]

So Allaah made purification and spiritual growth to be the outcome of lowering the gaze and guarding the private parts. It is for this reason that lowrering ones gaze from (seeing) the prohibited things necessarily leads to three benefits that carry tremendous value and are of great significance.

The First: experiencing the delight and sweetness of faith.

This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his gaze from for the sake of Allaah. Indeed, “whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah then Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it.” [1]

The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:

When you sent your eye as a guide For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you For you saw one over whom you had no power Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.

Therefore when the sight is prevented from looking and investigating the heart finds relief from having to go through the arduous task of (vainly) seeking and desiring.

Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabaabah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharaamah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allaah i.e. he worshipped Allaah.

Hence the heart begins to worship that which is not correct for it to worship and the reason behind all of this was an illegal glance. The heart is now bound in chains whereas before it used to be the master, it is now imprisoned whereas before it was free. It has been oppressed by the eye and it complains to it upon which the eye replies: I am your guide and messenger and it was you who sent me in the first place!

All that has been mentioned applies to the heart that has relinquished the love of Allaah and being sincere to Him for indeed the heart must have an object of love that it devotes itself to. Therefore when the heart does not love Allaah Alone and does not take Him as its God then it must worship something else.

Allaah said concerning Yusuf as-Siddeeq ‘alayhis salaam,

“Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants.” [Yusuf (12): 24]

It was because the wife of al-Azeez was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yusuf ‘alayhis salaam was sincere to Allaah that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unmarried and a servant.

The Second: the illumination of the heart, clear perception and penetrating insight.

Ibn Shujaa` al-Kirmaanee said, “whosoever builds his outward form upon following the Sunnah, his internal form upon perpetual contemplation and awareness of Allaah, he restrains his soul from following desires, he lowers his gaze from the forbidden things and he always eats the lawful things then his perception and insight shall never be wrong.”

Allaah mentioned the people of Lut and what they were afflicted with and then He went on to say,

“Indeed in this are signs for the Mutawassimeen.” [al-Hijr (15): 75]

The Mutwassimeen are those who have clear perception and penetrating insight, those who are secure from looking at the unlawful and performing indecent acts.

Allaah said after mentioning the verse concerning lowering the gaze,

“Allaah is the Light of the heavens and the earth.” [an-Nur (24): 35]

The reason behind this is that the reward is of the same type as the action. So whosoever lowers his gaze from the unlawful for the sake of Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, He will replace it with something better than it of the same type. So just as the servant restrained the light of his eye from falling upon the unlawful, Allaah blesses the light of his sight and heart thereby making him perceive what he would not have seen and understood had he not lowered his gaze.

This is a matter that the person can physically sense in himself for the heart is like a mirror and the base desires are like rust upon it. When the mirror is polished and cleaned of the rust then it will reflect the realities (haqaa`iq) as they actually are. However if it remains rusty then it will not reflect properly and therefore its knowledge and speech will arise from conjecture and doubt.

The Third: the heart becoming strong, firm and courageous.

Allaah will give it the might of aid for its strength just as He gave it the might of clear proofs for its light. Hence the heart shall combine both of these factors and as a result, Shaytaan shall flee from it. It is mentioned in the narration, “whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytaan shall flee in terror from his shade.” [2]

This is why the one who follows his base desires shall find in himself the ignominy of the soul, its being weak, feeble and contemptible. Indeed Allaah places nobilty for the one who obeys Him and disgrace for the one who disobeys Him,

“So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith.” [Aali Imraan(3): 139]

“If any do seek for nobilty and power then to Allaah belongs all nobility and power.” [Faatir(35): 10]

Meaning that whosoever seeks after disobedience and sin then Allaah, the Might and Magnificent, will humiliate the one who disobeys Him.

Some of the salaf said, “the people seek nobilty and power at the door of the Kings and they will not find it except through the obedience of Allaah.”

This is because the one who who obeys Allaah has taken Allaah as his friend and protector and Allaah will never humiliate the one who takes his Lord as friend and patron. In the Du`aa Qunut their occurs, “the one who You take as a friend is not humiliated and the one who You take as an enemy is not ennobled.” [3]

---

FOOTNOTES:

1. Reported by Ahmad [5/363], al-Marwazee in ‘Zawaa`id az-Zuhd’ [no. 412], an-Nasaa`ee in ‘al-Kubraa’ as mentioned in ‘Tuhfah al-Ashraaf’ [11/199] from one of the Companions that the Messenger of Allaah (SAW) said, “indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allaah except that Allaah will replace it with something better than it.” The isnaad is saheeh.

2. This is not established as a hadeeth of the Prophet (SAW)

3. Reported by Abu Daawood [Eng. Trans. 1/374 no. 1420], an-Nasaa`ee [3/248], at-Tirmidhee [no. 464], ibn Maajah [no. 1178], ad-Daarimee [1/311], Ahmad [1/199], ibn Khuzaymah [2/151] from al-Hasan from Alee (RA). The hadeeth is saheeh. The isnaad has been critcised by many, however none of the critcisms hold. Refer to: ‘Nasb ar-Raayah’ [2/125] and ‘Talkhees al-Habeer’ [1/247]

Source:  www.sunnahonline.com

Signs of the Heart

The Signs of a Sick Heart

A servant’s heart may be ill, and seriously deteriorating, while he remains oblivious of its condition. It may even die without him realising it. The symptoms of its sickness, or the signs of its death, are that its owner is not aware of the harm that results from the damage caused by wrong actions, and is unperturbed by his ignorance of the truth or by his false beliefs.

Since the living heart experiences pain as a result of any ugliness that it encounters and through its recognising its ignorance of the truth (to a degree that corresponds to its level of awareness), it is capable of recognising the onset of decay-and the increase in the severity of the remedy that will be needed to stop it-but then sometimes it prefers to put up with the pain rather than undergo the arduous trial of the cure!

Some of the many signs of the heart’s sickness if its turning away from good foods to harmful ones, from good remedies to shameful sickness. The healthy heart prefers what is beneficial and healing to what is harmful and damaging; the sick heart prefers the opposite. The most beneficial sustenance for the heart is faith and the best medicine is the Qur’an.

The Signs of a Healthy Heart

For the heart to be heality it should depart from this life and arrive in the next, and then settle there as if it were one of its people; it only came to this life as a passer-by, taking whatever provisions it needed and then returning home. As the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to Abdullah ibn Umar, “Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a passer-by” (Bukhari). The more diseased the heart is, the more it desires this world; it dwells in it until it becomes like one of its people.

The healthy heart continues to trouble its owner until he returns to Allah, and is at peace with Him, and joins Him, like a lover driven by compulsion who finally reaches his beloved. Besides his love for Him he needs no other, and after invoking Him no other invocations are needed. Serving Him precludes the need to serve any other.

If this heart misses its share of reciting the Qur’an and invoking Allah, or completing one of the prescribed acts of worship, then its owner suffers more distress than a cautious man who suffers because of the loss of money or a missed opportunity to make it. It longs to serve, just as a famished person longs for food and drink.

Yahya ibn Mu’adh said: “Whoever is pleased with serving Allah, everything will be pleased to serve him; and whoever finds pleasure in contemplating Allah, all the people will find pleasure in contemplating him.”

This heart has only one concern: that all its actions, and its inner thoughts and utterances, are obedient to Allah. It is more careful with its time than the meanest people are with their money, so that it will not be spent wastefully. When it enters into the prayer, all its worldly worries and anxieties vanish and it finds its comfort and bliss in adoring its Lord. It does not cease to mention Allah, nor tire of serving Him, and it finds intimate company with no-one save a person who guides it to Allah and reminds it to Him.

Its attention to the correctness of its action is greater than its attention to the action itself. It is scrupulous in making sure that the intentions behind its actions are sincere and pure and that they result in good deeds.

As well as and in spite of all this, it not only testifies to the generosity of Allah in giving it the opportunity to carry out such actions, but also testifies to its own imperfection and shortcomings in executing them.

The Causes of Sickness of the Heart

The temptations to which the heart is exposed are what cause its sickness. These are the temptations of desires and fancies. The former cause intentions and the will to be corrupted, and the latter cause knowledge and belief to falter.

Hudhayfa ibn al-Yamani, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, “Temptations are presented to the heart, one by one. Any heart that accepts them will be left with a black stain, but any heart that rejects them will be left with a mark of purity, so that hearts are of two types: a dark heart that has turned away and becomes like an overturned vessel, and a pure heart that will never be harmed by temptation for as long as the earth and the heavens exist. The dark heart only recognises good and denounces evil when this suits its desires and whims” (Muslim, Kitaab-al-Iman with a different wording). 

He, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, placed hearts, when exposed to temptation, into two categories:

• First, a heart which, when it is exposed to temptation, absorbs it like a sponge that soaks up water, leaving a black stain in it. It continues to absorb each temptation that is offered to it until it is darkened and corrupted, which is what he meant by “like an overturned vessel”. When this happens, two dangerous sicknesses take hold of it and plunge it into ruin:
  • The first is that of its confusing good with evil, to such an extent that it does not recognise the former and does not denounce the latter. This sickness may even gain hold of it to such an extent that it believes good to be evil and vice-versa, the sunnah to be bida’ and vice-versa, the truth to be false and falsity to be the truth.
  • The second is that of its setting up its desires as its judge, over and above what the Prophet (SAW) taught, so that it is enslaved and led by its whims and fancies.
• Second, a pure heart which the light of faith is bright and from which its radiance shines. When temptation is presented to pure hearts such this, they oppose it and reject it, and so their light and illumination only increase.*

References include Ibn Rajab, Ibn al-Qayyim, and al-Ghazali
(Source: http://www.islamworld.net)

Love from the Life of Rasoolullah (SAW)

We, as Muslims, can learn about love from the examples set forth by Rasoolullah (SAW) in how he acted with his wives.  With this post I hope to share some examples of love from the life of our beloved Prophet (SAW).  Women were something beloved to Rasoolullah (SAW) as he said, “Made beloved to me from your world are women and perfume, and the coolness to my eyes is in prayer” (narrated in Ahmad and An-Nisai).  Rasoolullah (SAW) also stated in a hadith found in Sahih Muslim that the most precious object in this world is the pious woman.

Rasoolullah (SAW) always had a playful attitude with his wives.  For example, he (SAW) would call them by nicknames (i.e. he would call Aisha, Aaish).  Furthermore, Rasoolullah (SAW) would even race them sometimes for fun.  Originally Aisha (ra) beat Rasoolullah (SAW) in a foot-race.  Later, after she had gained some weight, Rasoolullah (SAW) would beat her and tease her about it.  When Saoda and Aisha once got into a food-fight, Rasoolullah (SAW) enjoyed the show and laughed about it.  Moreover, when Rasoolullah (SAW) and Aisha would bathe together, they would tease each other about who would be hogging all the water.

Rasoolullah (SAW) would sometimes extend his stay at Zainab’s house because she would give him honey as Rasoolullah (SAW) loved honey.  Aisha and several other wives teamed up to play a practical joke on Rasoolullah (SAW).  When Rasoolullah (SAW) came back from Zainab’s house after eating honey one day, his wives commented on the bad smell coming from his mouth.  Upon this, Rasoolullah (SAW) forbade himself from eating honey anymore.  This led to the revelation: “O Prophet! Why do you ban (for yourself) that which Allâh has made lawful to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Allâh has already ordained for you (O men), the dissolution of your oaths. And Allâh is your Maula (Lord, or Master, or Protector, etc.) and He is the All-Knower, the All-Wise. And (remember) when the Prophet (Peace be upon him) disclosed a matter in confidence to one of his wives (Hafsah), so when she told it (to another i.e. ‘Aishah), and Allâh made it known to him, he informed part thereof and left a part. Then when he told her (Hafsah) thereof, she said: “Who told you this?” He said: “The All-Knower, the All-Aware (Allâh) has told me”. If you two (wives of the Prophet, namely ‘Aishah and Hafsah) turn in repentance to Allâh, (it will be better for you), your hearts are indeed so inclined (to oppose what the Prophet likes), but if you help one another against him (Muhammad), then verily, Allâh is his Maula (Lord, or Master, or Protector, etc.), and Jibrael (Gabriel), and the righteous among the believers, and furthermore, the angels are his helpers” (Translation of the Meaning of the Holy Quran, 66:1-4).  This incident led Rasoolullah (SAW) to becoming angry with his wives where he decided to abstain from them for a month.  He (SAW) returned to Aisha 29 days later and instead of being pleased upon his return, she asked him why he had returned a day early.

Rasoolullah (SAW) would always make time for his wives.  While Rasoolullah (SAW) was in itikhaf in the masjid, Safiyyah came to visit him (SAW).  Instead of turning her away, Rasoolullah (SAW) listened to her talk until she was content and left.  Once while traveling, Aisha and Safiyyah traded places to play a practical joke on Rasoolullah (SAW).  Not realizing they had changed places, Rasoolullah (SAW) went to talk with who he thought was Aisha.  Instead, Rasoolullah (SAW) ended up spending the night with Safiyyah, which irked Aisha.

In addition to being a good listener, Rasoolullah (SAW) was also very patient and tolerant with his wives.  Aisha (ra) narrated that Rasoolullah (SAW) never abused a domestic worker physically or emotionally and neither did he (SAW) beat any of his wives (narrated in Muslim).  Furthermore, Aisha narrates that Rasoolullah (SAW) would only enjoy his meals when she would sit next to him.  They would drink from one cup and he (SAW) would watch where Aisha would place her lips on the cup so that he (SAW) could place his lips on the exact same position on the cup.  He would eat from a bone after she would eat from it as he would place his mouth where she had eaten.  Rasoolullah (SAW) would also place morsels of food into her mouth and she would do the same for him (narrated in Muslim).

Within his household, Rasoolullah (SAW) showed amazing passion and mercy.  Whenever his daughter, Fatima (ra), would visit the Prophet (SAW), he would take her hand and kiss it.  He (SAW) would have Fatima sit next to him and she would do the same whenever he (SAW) would visit her (narrated in Tirmidhi).  A bedouin once told Rasoolullah (SAW) that he had never kissed his children.  Rasoolullah (SAW) told him to show mercy to them by saying, “Has Allah withdrawn mercy out of your hearts?” (narrated in Bukhari and Muslim).  While carrying his grandchild, Hasan, Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “O Allah, I love him so love him” (narrated in Bukhari and Muslim).  Rasoolullah (SAW) would even carry his granddaughter, Umama, while in prayer (Bukhari).

The death of Rasoolullah (SAW) was very moving.  While on his death-bed with a high fever, Aisha (ra) would recite Quran to Rasoolullah (SAW).  He (SAW) laid in her lap with his head on her chest knowing it was the end.  Aisha’s brother, Abdur-Rahman (ra), walked into the room with his miswak.  Rasoolullah (SAW) saw the miswak and Aisha noticed this.  She asked him if he wanted it and he nodded.  She took Abdur-Rahman’s miswak and with her teeth she moistened its bristles and gave it to him.  Rasoolullah (SAW) then mumbled that he wanted to go to “the Higher Companion.”  He (SAW) went back to Allah (SWT) as his raised his finger and left this world.  Let us all benefit from his beautiful examples in this life.  He (SAW) surely was the best example and a mercy to mankind.

A Moment of Pleasure

People fall in love, it’s natural. Some people act upon this emotion and desire while others conceal and control it. One can indeed fall in love and if it is not properly tamed, one can become sick. What does it mean to be love-sick? Being love-sick entails not being able to control oneself, leading to obsessiveness. Often times, the object being obsessed over is not worth the torture one goes through while in love with it. How do we treat this sickness?

If we could prevent this sickness from occurring, then this would be the best technique. For the answer to prevention, let us turn our attention to the Holy Quran, which states, “Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That will make for greater purity for them, and Allah is acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity…” (Translation of the Meaning of the Holy Quran, 24:30-31). From this, we can see the best prevention from becoming love-sick is to lower one’s gaze. Lowering one’s gaze is a very effective weapon one can posses while living in the West. It really does make an enourmous difference.

There is a local brother here in Baltimore who was giving a Friday sermon and he reminded us in a very clever way. He mentioned are we going to be naked on the Day of Judgment. How are we going to be naked on the Day of Judgment when we cannot keep our eyes off the half-naked girls in the streets.

We need to become more mindful of what we are freely looking at. It is known that the most beloved places to Allah (SWT) are the masajid, but what are the most hated places to Allah (SWT)? They are the market-places since there is so much fitnah that occurs there. As Muslims, not only should we safeguard ourselves in times of fitnah, but we should prevent ourselves from even being tested in such fitnahs. We should minimize our trips to the shopping malls, bazaars, and other places that entail a high-density of people that are not following the ways of Allah (SWT).

Another way to help one lower one’s gaze is to think of the consequences of that second look. Remember that for every sin we accumulate, we enjoy a moment of pleasure. Nevertheless, that one moment of pleasure leads to a sin being written in our records until the Day of Judgment. Is it worth one moment of pleasure to have its repercussions felt for far longer than that moment. It is the same idea of engulfing foods or drinks that are unlawful. Is that moment of drinking alcohol really worth carrying its burden until we meet Allah (SWT)? How much pleasure do we get from that second look? It is minuscule when we look upon the long-run and what is best for ourselves.

Not only do we need to think of our consequences of the Hereafter while sinning, but we also need to understand the repercussions that exist in this duniya. If we are to follow upon our gaze and act upon it, what are the possibilities? We could advance our relationships from this move. We could become acquaintances, then friends, and eventually more than that person whom we have lust for. Eventually, we could commit zina, become HIV-positive, and have an illegitimate son. The possibilities are endless. One sin would lead to another. We cannot continue to sin. To understand the consequences, we should attempt to erase our bad deeds by doing good ones. Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “…follow up a bad deed with a good one, and it will erase it…” (Tirmidhi).

As Muslims, we need to put our trust in Allah. The Holy Quran says, “Whoever puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is Allah for him” (Translation of the Meaning of the Holy Quran, 65:3). It is necessary for us to put our trust in Allah by showing patience. “Seek Allah’s help with patience and perseverance. It is indeed difficult except upon those who are humble” (Translation of the Meaning of the Holy Quran, 2:45).

Rasoolullah (SAW) said, “Whoever maintains his chastity, does so with the grace of Allah. Whoever finds self-sufficiency does so with what Allah has enriched him. Whoever is patient draws his fortitude from Allah. And no one has been given a gift better or more bountiful than patience” (narrated in Bukhari and Muslim). Therefore, whenever we encounter something unlawful and our desires request us to take a second look, we should show patience as we know that there is something significantly better than the sin upon which are about to embark upon. We should remember Allah (SWT)!

[Taken in part from Shaykh Salman al-Oadah]

Falling in Love

Ibn Hazm stated “Love is neither disapproved by religion, nor prohibited by the law (i.e. the Shariah), for every heart is in Allah’s hand.”

Love is something that one can’t control and something that one becomes liable for only once actions are taken by choice. It is very natural to have preferences in love to a different degree. As the saying goes that when people fall in love, they fall out of character. Love is one of the secrets of Allah’s creation. The Prophet (SAW) recommended people to love their lovers moderately as one day may come that they hate this person distinctly (and vice-versa as one should hate their enemy moderately). Rasoolullah (SAW) sympathized with the lovers. Take, for example, the case of the story of Bareeah:

Rasoolullah (SAW), telling his uncle al-Abbaas the story of Mugheeth and Bareerah, said “O Abbas! Isn’t it amazing how much Mugheeth loves Bareerah and how much Bareerah hates Mugheeth?” Bareerah was the slave of Mugheeth. Mugheeth freed Bareerah and in return, Bareerah ended her relationship with Mugheeth. Heart-broken, Mugheeth asked Rasoolullah (SAW) to intercede on his behalf to Bareerah. When Rasoolullah (SAW) interceded on Mugheeth’s behalf, Bareerah asked Rasoolullah (SAW) if he was interceding or commanding her to get back together with Mugheeth. Once Rasoolullah (SAW) answered he was interceding, she refused to continue her relationship with Mugheeth.

There are two theories to discuss that deal with love.  For the love-tank theory, consider the fact that when driving a car, women tend to refill their gas tank when half the tank is empty so as to be sure they won’t run out of gas. Men, on the other hand, tend to wait until the gas tank is almost empty before refilling their gas tanks. Relationships tend to be the same way in that women get worried much earlier than men and they need to be reassured that the relationship is going well.

The second theory is the love-bank theory. Consider the idea that a man and woman both open an account with each other at the point of marriage. Women tend to have an accurate record of their bank account and they know what they have deposited and withdrawn. Men, on the other hand, generally do not keep track of the amount in their account as they attempt to take mental notes. However, as checks do bounce, there are times that men forget about somethings. Therefore, it is important that one must deposit whenever withdrawing (i.e. demanding) from the love-bank accounts.

Love is certainly not indecent. It is something completely natural and acceptable in Islam. However, times do exist when love is harmed. These reasons include the exploitation of love, infidelity, acts of disrespect, gossip, and even separation for a long time. What is necessary to make a good marriage work? Love and mercy are the key ingredients as love usually dominates at first, but mercy continues a marriage.

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them; and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Translation of the Meaning of the Holy Quran 30:21)